Cracker Box, Illinois (2027)

 
With mordant humor and unsparing honesty, Jeff Charles takes readers through his Midwestern childhood and adolescence across 29 interlocking stories and a range of brutally unforgettable coming-of-age incidents. Featuring a host of indelible characters, as funny as they are pathetic, Cracker Box, Illinois picks up where Jean Shepherd’s In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash left off—only without the sepia-tinted nostalgia.
 
Just a kid with his eyes and heart wide open to the cruelties and capriciousness of the neighborhood that delimits the boundaries of his world, young Jeff runs afoul of dimwitted bullies, a sadistic dentist, and way too many alcoholic authority figures to count while holding tight to his sense of humor (and some semblance of sanity) in the sacred privacy of his bedroom, thanks to the saving grace of both his colored pencils and his transistor radio. Dodging indignities around every corner, he nevertheless finds joy in his Hot Wheels collection, playing baseball, and a small cadre of friends also doing their level best to survive the suburban insanity. And as he grows up to experience the new befuddlement of inappropriate crushes, aimless nights in the McDonald’s parking lot, and marching band antics gone wrong, he sets his sights on that nearby metropolis-Chicago-in hopes that he’ll escape there one day if it kills him.

A bold new voice of heartland woe, Jeff Charles exposes the trials and tragedies of growing up in a small town lorded over by tiny tyrants with the triumphant spirit of a true survivor. 

Continue Shopping

Face Of Thymme Soap

CHEER-ACCIDENT

Face Of Thymme Soap.  3”x3”x1”.  $45

Since we have no intention of ever leaving your bathroom, we might as well get REALLY comfortable. This is highly functional soap (and, though “unscented,” has a very pleasant smell), but should you decide not to bathe with Thymme, you would certainly not be faulted for simply allowing it to remain the art that it is… and indeed lots of hearts and hands went into making this art:

Product design: Shelby Donnelly (weartowall)
Soap casting: Christina Roberts
3D printed mold: David Maldonado
3D printing: Kent Lambert

All natural, gentle and vegan.
 

Sunset T-shirt

CHEER-ACCIDENT

Sunset t-shirt. $35.
We mostly just have Ls and XLs in stock, but feel free to write to phrogclock@aol.com about other options. You just might get lucky!

C-A Towels

CHEER-ACCIDENT

Minisport towel.  16”x24”.  $40
Hand towel.  11”x16”.  $30

We made it to your bathroom several years ago with those orange towels (which we’ll have more of by summertime), and now we’ve decided to overstay our welcome with these. Like those others, design is by Shelby Donnelly (weartowall). 100% cotton and made entirely in the USA. Even the labels are a bit of a treat (courtesy of Scott Rutledge).

Admission t-shirt (somewhat pixelated)

CHEER-ACCIDENT

Admission t-shirt (somewhat pixelated). $40.
“Weren’t they from, like, ten years ago?” Printed on the back. We mostly just have XLs left of this one, though email us at: phrogclock@aol.com to inquire about other options. You just might get lucky. Also, specify which shirt you want in the Venmomemo.

Admission t-shirt (very pixelated)

CHEER-ACCIDENT

Admission t-shirt (very pixelated). $40.
“Weren’t they from, like, ten years ago?” Printed on the back. We mostly just have Ls left of this one, though email us at: phrogclock@aol.com to inquire about other options. You just might get lucky. Also, specify which shirt you want in the Venmomemo.